Coming out as gay has turned out to be the most beneficial thing I could have done with my sons. I was so scared it was going to hurt them. But, turns out our relationships have become closer and more authentic and more satisfying.
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Coming out while married is a very hard thing. This is the type of thing that we can prevent by having a more open and accepting world. Even if you don't believe in gay-marriage I'm sure you believe in alleviating the type of pain I caused by forcing myself to believe I was straight. We can do this with kindness and openness.
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Coming out as gay at 33 is hard. When most kids were finding out who they were in high school, I was busy hiding who I was. Now, I’m working on developing that person with the added pressures of being an adult and sometimes it just feels like too much. In this article, I talk about how I’ve learned to cope. Sober, in peace, and effectively.
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We can make as many laws as we want to protect a race, a sex, a religion, or sexual identity but until we make a change in belief patterns the laws will have little effect. For LGBTQ discrimination, I notice through my own homophobia, that I need to begin seeing this community as a positive. When this happens, I more fully accept the gay in me and the gay in my brother or sister. Try it and see if it works for yourself too.
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Shame over my body started when I was a child. I thought that because I liked boys that I should have been born a girl. But a speedo in my 30's allowed me to recognize the man I was and the body I now loved and cherished.
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Body Shaming happens we make someone feel ugly, gross, and unworthy because of their body type and I've experienced it in every phase of my development. When someone asked me how I built confidence in my body, I was instantly drawn to question my own confidence and face my own shame.
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I didn't think this blog would lead to me coming out as gay, but it did and when it did, I didn't think there was much left to share, but there is. There is more to share now than ever and for me it's more important than ever to share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Here’s to a new journey!
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Okay… Fine. One more. A poem to let you in on what it feels like to come out of the closet and continue to walk as gay.
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The final fear I had to face in the trials to triathlon story is revealed in this post. It is finally time to accept fully who I am, regardless of the consequences and step out with pride and confidence. I’m gay.
But, what does this all mean? What is going to change? What is next?
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My psychological make up has made me particularly sensitive to the horrible things I have learned to call myself. May these thoughts arise from others, social-stigma's or diagnosis, they don't have to have power over me any more. But sometimes they do and when they do, I get to grow.
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When a goal becomes larger than what it initially meant, life gets bigger and the reward becomes much greater. In my experience the only way to get to this point is to dive in and stay focused one step at a time. As you traverse the path the trail takes on new meaning.
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Race day is a celebration of all the hard work over the last year and a half. But more so, it was a reminder of where my strength came from and the purpose for which I began this journey. Just over a year ago a young man stumbled into my kitchen and fell into a drug coma. After that night I vouched to help bring resources to youngsters in need of help with drug and alcohol use. These kids, the donors, my family- this was how I made it across the finish line. I celebrate my recovery and my strength so they can to.
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A year and a half of training and two weeks out from the big race and the training plan says to stop, rest, recover. At the end of the long hard road everyone is saying hold back, taper, be wise. In this article, I discuss the feelings during this challenging time and how it is a test on the road of faith, between action based on fear vs trust.
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Similar to how just not drinking didn’t help me become sober, straight up exercise never worked for me. Time and time again I have wound up relapsing back onto the couch with potato chips, pizza and Netflix. This article discussing the three things triathlon helps bring to my life to keep me focused on healthy living.
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Putting down the drugs and alcohol helped me to finally experience life and in this article I talk about the ways it helps propel me towards being the athlete I dream of being.
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Is triathlon necessary? Not for everyone. In fact, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. It is a personal destiny decision that I was put on to learn some valuable things about life, that otherwise, I just wasn’t learning. So if you are having trouble learning these 7 valuable lessons, then triathlon may be just the thing to smack you upside the head and force you to grow up too.
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Boulder 70.3 Ironman has been long anticipated for myself. I couldn’t wait to get out on the bike course and preview the experience touted by Ironman to offer “peerless views.” This report shows they didn’t lie, but there are definitely some difficulties obstructing the views. Hills, gophers, and direct sunshine are going to be obstacles, but with a good hydration and power strategy this course is manageable and can be enjoyed!
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Gratitude & Acceptance. A topic we hear about far too often in recovery, but not much in athletic journals. In this article I present how the lack of these virtues crippled me and the acknowledgement has helped me to excel in endurance training.
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Trials to triathlon is a story about my relapses during recovery and each relapse relates to three separate fears: self, intimacy, failure. Without dealing with these fears I would never have recovered from this seemingly hopeless disease of addiction. Triathlon was is vehicle that brought these fears to my consciousness and helped me to better myself.
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Spiritual living comes through consciously, mindfully and deliberately using action and behaviors to help others while seeking to use your gifts to help make the world become a better place. Before doing this I had to recognize my gifts by first taking the plank out of my eyes, just like the good book says.
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