Why Triathlon and Not Just Exercise
Why Triathlon and not just exercise?
I’ve been asked this question, or some close variation of it, more times than I can count. It’s a good question, a valid one, and it comes with some very interesting answers that give the outsider a nice lens in which they can view the peculiar person I have become since finding sobriety.
It’s been a long agreed upon fact that exercise is good for addicts. Some addicts have used exercise alone to literally lift them out of their addiction (yes pun intended). I follow an outstanding example of exercise’s potential effect on addicts in my instagram. His name is Taylor Rechelt @addict_2_athlete. Taylor said that in his rehab they had daily mandatory gym time. The gym time served as his “sanctuary” using it to “escape or find peace.” I have been in rehab and know how important it is to find some sanctuary to escape from the therapeutic grind, summon some peace and feel yourself as something other than broken. I wasn’t lucky enough to have mandatory gym time, but we did have a meditation hall and miles of walking trails that I strolled on for hours hearing the leaves crunch and birds chirp in the cool Minnesota fall. I don’t know his full story, but he seems to have found his answer in athletics. My hats off to him and the thousands of others who found general exercise to alleviate their pain. The mandatory gym time and peace he found in it allowed him to begin making changes in diet and lifestyle the ultimately gave his life a new direction. Astounding and I’m honored to follow the fellow.
I wish I could follow the path like Taylor, but it just doesn’t stick with me. Exercise didn’t and doesn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love exercise and I do find that it helps me to escape and find peace. It also helps jolt endorphins through my system and helps me to feel good about myself. But, this isn’t enough for me. It doesn’t give me enough motivation to make lifestyle changes like Taylor found. I find myself relapsing to potato chips, fast food and netflix binges way too quickly. Likewise, in sobriety, time and time again I have relapsed by following a program that feels good, or just feels right for me. I was sick and tired of relapsing, my body and spirit were not going to take it any longer. As many of you have read, I was on the brink of suicide. I was over it. Then, by God’s grace I found triathlon.
For years, I had followed programs that made me feel good. Made me feel right. For a time they seemed to work, until they didn’t. I was in AA and working with a sponsor that made me feel good. He sat down and meditated with me. He had buddha sculptures in his house and burned incense. If I didn't want to work the steps he’d say, “it’s okay, we will get there in time.” I also exercised. I loved hitting the trails on my mountain bike and pumping iron in the gym. I loved the way they made me feel. But, what I was lacking were three essential things that Triathlon brought to my daily life.
Goal Directed Behavior
Ok, most people can put goal direction into any normal exercise program. That’s great, and honestly I wish that I could. Maybe I can one day, I hope I can one day, but honestly I’m a little scared to try. The reason is the same reason I had to get scared shitless into following the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had to literally find myself knocking at deaths door to finally sit down and work the program I had been misusing for years only to find relapse and disparity. I wanted to find sobriety, peace, and freedom but I couldn’t until I finally got so scared that I was going to die and possibly take someone I loved with me. I finally conceded. I got a sponsor who didn’t beat around the bush. Unlike my other sponsor, when I said I didn’t want to do the steps he didn’t say, “it’s okay, we will get there in time,” he said, “ok, I hope you don’t die. Call me when you’re ready.” He would then hang up.
The fear I had of killing myself and a loved one caused me to work the steps with all that I had in me. I had a goal and that was to get as far away from the person I had become. The person who could nearly kill himself and his wife with a broken mirror while blacked out, the person who wound up in jail and the hospital in one week, the fella who almost jumped off a bridge into freezing water. I had to get away from this person and I had to start following a program that set me up with behaviors with goals.
For instance, call the people you have harmed and make amends. This had the goal of seeking more than forgiveness, this had the goal of alleviating the guilt that dragged me so far down. If this was the way that I worked, the only way that I could comprehend how to live without killing myself and someone I loved, then how much more do I need Goal Directed Behavior in something as trivial in comparison as exercise is! After all, if I wasn’t alive exercise wouldn’t be too important now would it?
The problem with goal directed behavior is that it’s hard work and it’s often hard to find the right goal for the individual. That is hard, I’m not going to lie. I feel like triathlon was a God sent to me. I hope with all my heart that each of you reading this is able to find a goal that helps you improve your health too, but trust me, I know, triathlon is not for everyone and I don’t claim it to be the best idea, AT ALL. Additionally, to the hard work, with the goal of crossing a finish line in an Ironman, there are a lot of little itty bitty things you have to change to begin reaching the tape at the end of the race. Triathlon has so many freaking tiny little tweaks that need to be made it can drive a man mad. That’s why it’s good to have clear cut instructions, number dos.
Clear cut instructions
You can give me directions to make a pie and if you aren’t careful we’ll come out with a cake with creole seasoning. It works great in the world of creative fantasy, but not so well in athletics or sobriety. When I just tried to work the program of AA without looking at the clear cut instructions, I failed miserably... like I said, I almost died. When I tried to compete in a triathlon without following the clear cut instructions, to the T, I failed miserably… I almost didn’t make it through the swim, but I was also pretty much dead last. People were enjoying beers and clearing out the parking lot by the time I finished. Not only that, I hurt and I hurt badly!
Ok rewind. I also tried to just go to the gym and exercise before triathlon was ever a thought. I had been raised in an athletic family. My dad taught me how to weight lift when I was no more than 10 years old and I partook in nearly every sport that I was allowed to. Needless to say, I knew my way around the weight room and how to lift and exercise, generally speaking. If by some grace of god I was able to maintain this type of program and lift to stay healthy I would actually be a happy man, but time and time again it has proved to lose it’s appeal and I relapse to the couch and fast food within a few months. Some of us have that problem.
Well, with a goal and clear cut instructions to get to that goal I don’t seem to have the problem of junk food/couch relapses any more. For months on end I have woken up early, excited to conquer my training plan that’s so intensive I initially thought it was a joke. A writer friend of mine who is also in recovery, Meredith Atwood talks about the same initial impression, in her book, “Triathlon For Every Woman.” Even if you’re not a woman, you should check this gem out- great insight with lots of laughs. Triathlon set me up with specific daily things to do to get to where I wanted to go and I needed that, badly.
No way to prevaricate
Simple, in triathlon there is no alternate program that works. When I first made the blog I was going to title it something like to yoga triathlete. I wanted people to see there was an alternate way to reach the goal of being an Ironman. This is not the case. In fact, this isn’t the case even if you just want to do a small triathlon. There simply are no substitutes for the exact science of triathlon- swim, bike, run and nutrition. Trust me I tried, and I’ve tried this in every aspect of my life.
I believe it is fairly natural for a human to take the easy way out. I was in a mechanics shop just yesterday and saw a slogan on the wall that I have heard quiet often, “work smart-not hard.” Makes sense, and I’m not downplaying what that sign actually means. The problem is I tend to take things to the extreme and that ends up in work not getting done. I try to make things so simple they end up not working out at all. I have done this with driving directions, I have done this in arguments, I have done this in school, in sobriety and finally I have done this in exercise. The result- I don’t get what I was hoping for and triathlon whooped my ass when I tried to assert my own program into it’s world.
Conclusion
I really don’t know why I ever thought exercise would follow a different path than that of sobriety for me. Sobriety should have been simple. If you want to live, stop drinking and stop using drugs. But, I wasn’t able to get sober without a more precise goal that I believed in and clear cut instructions that didn’t allow me to prevaricate or wonder off course. I wasn’t able to pass by a bar without going inside until I had a program strict enough to keep me close for long enough to build my spiritual muscle and confidence. Likewise, I wasn’t able to maintain a healthy lifestyle for more than a few weeks or months without a goal I believed in, clear cut instructions to achieve that goal and no leeway for me to create my own path.
Do I think it’s the answer for everyones health and fitness? Nope, not at all. If you’re like Taylor and thousands of others then I bet there is a program out there just for you, in fact, Jess and I are working on creating a more universal program for people to find their means to that healthy end as I speak this onto the pages of this blog with the click click click of my keyboard. But for now, I know that I need triathlon as much as I need the program of alcoholics anonymous. Will I ever stop either one? Well, in my opinion things that are given by God are only taken by God in God’s time, so I don’t really have the answer to that. I gave up playing God a long time ago and that’s the only way I’m still alive.