Starting with small changeable things
I sat down to discuss alcoholism and drug addiction with a fellow today who has been through quite a ringer of his own. We found that we share a common thread of influence; self defeating self talk. Minds, we figure, are so very sensitive to any type of information they receive.
Information can come from a variety of sources. It can come from the words, actions or gestures of other people. Info can come from the weather, the time of day, the season of the year. Information can come from the myriad of responsibilities, hobbies and goals that we are unable to meet. Ultimately, however, we either accept these bits of information and allow them to influence our psyche, or we cast them aside and wait for some more pleasurable information to take root. This power is all in our reach, but taping into this power is truly one of the quest’s of ages.
While this discussion continued I had a few thoughts, so of course I spit them out. When I was drinking and using drugs on a daily basis, my emotional state was as thin as the film that settles over packaged pudding after the lid comes off. This emotional state was so worn down that any bit of information that came in could make or break me. I then realized that the same thing happens almost daily in my training, both mentally and physically.
The mental part I have figured out, I wait for the next thought to come. I’m patient. Like a lion in the grass when slightest inspiring motion moves I leap towards it and pounce on it with all I have; for it is my survival, so I dive my teeth deep. The physical is slightly more complex. I am still learning a lot.
The physical body has millions of things going on mechanically and chemically that can make or break an athlete. I have had mornings where I jump on the treadmill, heart rate steady and speed right on par. Then I have mornings where I hop on the treadmill, heart rate scatters up, up and up and my legs feel like un-trained beer fed basset hounds underneath me. The fact is that my body is no different. It is worn thin. It is fragile.
Because of this I can now reach the same realization I did with my emotions when I first got sober. A spirit of gratefulness comes when I am able to cherish the subtle vulnerabilities of my mind and body. This gratefulness comes because I can examine what happened to cause me to feel a certain way. Emotionally, with sobriety, I was able to look at my life and exclaim, “Oh, it’s because I was scared of being left alone and abandoned that I tried so hard to hold onto her and when I realized I couldn’t control and hold onto another human being, I became angry.” At a point like that I am able to see the little times when I am starting to get angry and say, “Oh this is just because of fear, let me wait for a minute, take a deep breath, and let her come back in time with a kiss.” I hope that example is clear…
Well with the physical body, I can now say things like- well I did get up three times last night. That poor night of sleep is really effecting my performance. I can assess my diet and say, “oh man, I probably shouldn’t be eating an entire pizza tonight, last time I did this I wasn’t able to swim my entire set.” I can then change my behavior in the moment out of self motivation to avoid the pain that comes from not eating right. This is why things like Juice-Plus have made such a difference. They are little bits of positivity that I put into my life. When the negative is introduced then all of a sudden my performance suffers and the solution is clear. Sobriety taught me to start looking at the things I am grateful for and when the negative starting to come to examine it and find it’s place. I’m now learning how to do it in my physical life and the gains I have made in training are extreme!
Simple, small changes can help reach these new highs of life. If you need help then seek out diet plans and training plans and recovery plans that made it possible for me to begin separating the truth from my thoughts. When I have gone off these plans things start to happen. With diet, I start feeling unfocused and sluggish. With training, I begin feeling stressed and worried that I am not getting the right work in. Sometime I may begin to feel drained and realize I just need a little extra nutrients so I take a tiny bit of gel and feel 100% better to push on through . With recovery, well this is the most important for me. Without this plan, I walk aimlessly and time passes me by on the barstool of broken dreams. I am so grateful for this way of living and adjusting appropriately to face any weather as the wind blows through the sails of time. Without it life felt as if it was passing me by. Now, well now I usually feel like I am running along side life but he’s breathing harder and falling back trying to keep pace.