Spirit

The spiritual world does not have to scare you…

In fact, the spritual world should bring peace when you think about it. If it doesn’t, if it makes you squeamish, then this brief article is for you!

We live in an age where connection is necessary, easily accessible and a part of everyday life. Yet depression, social anxiety and loneliness beat within the core of almost everyone I have come into contact with during counseling and/or casual conversation. If connection is at an all time high, then why is loneliness driving more people then ever to the brink of insanity with addiction, suicide and mental illness?

I have found that the connection was actually there and ready for me. But, it existed as a one way circuit. My social media portrayed a man social, connected, and joyful- but I wasn’t. In fact, I was more distant than ever.

Two things were limiting me. First, I had to rid myself of my own false beliefs. I thought people would hate me for the things I had done. I thought people would think I was disgusting and therefore ridicule and ostracize me. Second, I had to find a reason to connect back with that which was connecting to me. The whole world around me wanted me to come to. My family loved me and wanted that love back. My friends thought I was worth hanging around and they wanted me to give the same thing back. The people who didn't know me needed to know my story- so they might spread the hope.

When I came to purpose I found connection, when I found connection the spiritual life found me. Don’t try and rush into it. Don’t try and get baptized and look for miracles. Rather, do what Jesus did- remove the plank from your own eye and then go help your brother. Find out ways you are limiting your output to the world. Find the little inside bits that are holding back the drill from functioning correctly. Trust me they are there. Remove this stuff and start giving back to the world. Open yourself to the greatness you have inside and you will become open to miracles and the spiritual life will find you too.

Nov 17, 2020

Coming Out and Relationships with My Sons

Coming out as gay has turned out to be the most beneficial thing I could have done with my sons. I was so scared it was going to hurt them. But, turns out our relationships have become closer and more authentic and more satisfying.

Sep 12, 2020

Married, Coming out, Divorce: It Hurts

Coming out while married is a very hard thing. This is the type of thing that we can prevent by having a more open and accepting world. Even if you don't believe in gay-marriage I'm sure you believe in alleviating the type of pain I caused by forcing myself to believe I was straight. We can do this with kindness and openness.

Aug 15, 2020

Under Pressure: What it's like coming out after 30 years

Coming out as gay at 33 is hard. When most kids were finding out who they were in high school, I was busy hiding who I was. Now, I’m working on developing that person with the added pressures of being an adult and sometimes it just feels like too much. In this article, I talk about how I’ve learned to cope. Sober, in peace, and effectively.

Aug 14, 2020

Inspect Belief Patterns, Not Laws: moving past LGBTQ discrimination

We can make as many laws as we want to protect a race, a sex, a religion, or sexual identity but until we make a change in belief patterns the laws will have little effect. For LGBTQ discrimination, I notice through my own homophobia, that I need to begin seeing this community as a positive. When this happens, I more fully accept the gay in me and the gay in my brother or sister. Try it and see if it works for yourself too.

Aug 7, 2020

Speedo Awakening: A release from shame

Shame over my body started when I was a child. I thought that because I liked boys that I should have been born a girl. But a speedo in my 30's allowed me to recognize the man I was and the body I now loved and cherished.

Jul 24, 2020

Body Shame

Body Shaming happens we make someone feel ugly, gross, and unworthy because of their body type and I've experienced it in every phase of my development. When someone asked me how I built confidence in my body, I was instantly drawn to question my own confidence and face my own shame.

Jul 17, 2020

I Owe Apologies

I didn't think this blog would lead to me coming out as gay, but it did and when it did, I didn't think there was much left to share, but there is. There is more to share now than ever and for me it's more important than ever to share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Here’s to a new journey!

Feb 11, 2020

What Coming Out as Gay Does Not Mean: The Final Post

The final fear I had to face in the trials to triathlon story is revealed in this post. It is finally time to accept fully who I am, regardless of the consequences and step out with pride and confidence. I’m gay.

But, what does this all mean? What is going to change? What is next?

Oct 13, 2019

The Truth Behind The Smile

My psychological make up has made me particularly sensitive to the horrible things I have learned to call myself. May these thoughts arise from others, social-stigma's or diagnosis, they don't have to have power over me any more. But sometimes they do and when they do, I get to grow.