Mark Turnipseed

This is the path I traveled to become a triathlete from a scared young boy, a destructive youth, and a narcissistic delusional adult addict. Triathlon has taught me that any path worth walking is better with other people. Therefore, I write this story live and without filter to share the experience with as many as possible.

I would be a liar to say this story will be easy to share, the journey is riddled with trials that will bring up horrifying ghosts of my childhood and relentless terrors of my adolescence and young adulthood. I expect for this to be an emotional process that begets great challenge. For this reason, I know that at times I will feel like laughing and others crying, at times it will be invigorating and others depleting, at times I will feel great remorse and other moments great pride.

Triathlon and recovery have taught me I need to seek support, but also that I must share and give it back. If this did not occur in my life I would have learned nothing from those who have travelled similar paths before me. I would not be here. Therefore, I want to share the hard moments with you with complete transparent abandon because these are the moments that have shaped my heart and the moments I fear letting go of the most. These are the moments that once led me to depression, addiction and suicide but now fill me with strength and courage. These are the moments that make up my life and if I inspire one person to find their inner strength by sharing them here, then these will be the moments that bring purpose to my life.

Nov 17, 2020

Coming Out and Relationships with My Sons

Coming out as gay has turned out to be the most beneficial thing I could have done with my sons. I was so scared it was going to hurt them. But, turns out our relationships have become closer and more authentic and more satisfying.

Sep 12, 2020

Married, Coming out, Divorce: It Hurts

Coming out while married is a very hard thing. This is the type of thing that we can prevent by having a more open and accepting world. Even if you don't believe in gay-marriage I'm sure you believe in alleviating the type of pain I caused by forcing myself to believe I was straight. We can do this with kindness and openness.

Aug 15, 2020

Under Pressure: What it's like coming out after 30 years

Coming out as gay at 33 is hard. When most kids were finding out who they were in high school, I was busy hiding who I was. Now, I’m working on developing that person with the added pressures of being an adult and sometimes it just feels like too much. In this article, I talk about how I’ve learned to cope. Sober, in peace, and effectively.

Aug 14, 2020

Inspect Belief Patterns, Not Laws: moving past LGBTQ discrimination

We can make as many laws as we want to protect a race, a sex, a religion, or sexual identity but until we make a change in belief patterns the laws will have little effect. For LGBTQ discrimination, I notice through my own homophobia, that I need to begin seeing this community as a positive. When this happens, I more fully accept the gay in me and the gay in my brother or sister. Try it and see if it works for yourself too.

Aug 7, 2020

Speedo Awakening: A release from shame

Shame over my body started when I was a child. I thought that because I liked boys that I should have been born a girl. But a speedo in my 30's allowed me to recognize the man I was and the body I now loved and cherished.

Jul 24, 2020

Body Shame

Body Shaming happens we make someone feel ugly, gross, and unworthy because of their body type and I've experienced it in every phase of my development. When someone asked me how I built confidence in my body, I was instantly drawn to question my own confidence and face my own shame.

Jul 17, 2020

I Owe Apologies

I didn't think this blog would lead to me coming out as gay, but it did and when it did, I didn't think there was much left to share, but there is. There is more to share now than ever and for me it's more important than ever to share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. Here’s to a new journey!

Feb 11, 2020

What Coming Out as Gay Does Not Mean: The Final Post

The final fear I had to face in the trials to triathlon story is revealed in this post. It is finally time to accept fully who I am, regardless of the consequences and step out with pride and confidence. I’m gay.

But, what does this all mean? What is going to change? What is next?

Oct 13, 2019

The Truth Behind The Smile

My psychological make up has made me particularly sensitive to the horrible things I have learned to call myself. May these thoughts arise from others, social-stigma's or diagnosis, they don't have to have power over me any more. But sometimes they do and when they do, I get to grow.